meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
