Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
