y did u give ur computer a hand job?
someone owes me an orgasm
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
