Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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