Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize