I didn't shave. On purpose
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
