Im at strip club and am horny
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
