I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize