In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
