I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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