It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously