I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
