Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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