Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You can't just leave with hair like that
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
