plz talk dirty to me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
