I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
