So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
