Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
