She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
