covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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