hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
