And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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