Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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