definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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