is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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