I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize