if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
