Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
