Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
