She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
