Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I cut my penus on the lid.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
