at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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