dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
