508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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