i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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