ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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