don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
All the doctor said was why
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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