I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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