He told me they were just razor bumps!
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
