my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
