Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You made out with two different species that night
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Terrible idea I love it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
