there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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