He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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