Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
