You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize