All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
People with herpes should wear stickers.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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