This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
