My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
