Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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