do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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