The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
