isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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