Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
