You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize