if you like me you must not know who I am
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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