Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I said "one day" and that day is not today
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
