I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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