we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
